What Le Carre Has Never Written About # 2

John Le Carre might have written recently another book, titled "Our Kind of Traitor". In fact, I know for a fact that he did and I already anticipate the tsunami of schizophrenia and paranoia tinged with British hubris that will be unleashed on its unfortunate reader.

But Le Carre might have done a lot better of he wrote, say, about this little problem that Britain faces.

Millions must now say good-bye to their hopes of a better life and a secure future in Britain.

When Britain embarked on its Thatcherite reforms nearly 30 years ago -- about the time Le Carre was in his prime, it had high hopes of becoming a successful developed economy but now that these hopes appear to have been shattered in the most brutal fashion — what does this mean for its citizens?

More than half a century ago Winston Churchill famously declared that foreigners would never be able to understand how Britain worked, who ruled it and what made it tick.

It is an old cliche but not without truth. To this day, outsiders still find Britain messy and very confusing and Le Carre's novels do not exactly provide a guide to understanding it.

In the odd 30 years since the Thatcherite times, Le Carre only wrote about 30+ novels but Britain has changed greatly.

British Leyland’s oil leaking monstrosities had been replaced on the roads with automotive imports from all over the world, including places like China and India.

Huge advertising hoardings had shrouded the old grimy gray-stone buildings in the center of London.

The London hub had sprouted enormous American-style shopping malls but also — stretching out into what passes for countryside in Britain — narrow strips of allotments, usually the size of a large handkerchief where British people try to grow some vegetables or fruit to augment their unhealthy diets and to get which they have to spend 15 years or more on the council waiting lists.

Yes, yes, Britain is still a baffling and forbidding place for a stranger.

The end of Thatcherite capitalism

Some in Britain even hoped for a British miracle then. Le Carre did too.

Then in the early 1990 — when the Thatcherites were at their strongest — Britain had its first ever American-style consumer boom which unleashed a wave of euphoria in the tired old country which looked positively invigorated.

British leaders told the world that Britain had changed and later (not so long ago) even claimed that there would be “no more boom and bust”.

It would embrace universal values and even join Europe, they claimed.

Well they were wrong.

Instead Britain has remained sullen and hostile to the European Union, and re-embraced its old anti-European rhetoric but still has seen its economic hopes all but collapsed.

It is only now that people begin to understand that so many of their assumptions about their future in Britain are wrong.

The recent times of relative plenty look to be succeeded by the times of absolute dire need for most British people, many of whom will undoubtedly be — and are in fact being — plunged into poverty, unemployment and misery, as unbridled capitalism finally found its match in the shape of the 2008 financial crisis which was unleashed on an unprepared populace.

The trauma of 2008 is still deeply felt.

Tragedy

With the British economy still uncertain of its survival, let alone future growth, many people have had a rude awakening.

People really have no hope and Le Carre's novels do not provide much in the way of escapism — that’s why so many in Britain are turning to drugs. London has become the official cocaine capital of the world (disclaimer: other drugs are also used and abused there in record quantities).

In another reminder of how hard the times are about to get, many British people, young and old, are turning to prostitution as their main profession.

Young females and males sell their bodies to get themselves through university or just because there is no other work or even simply because they like it and find it pleasurable.

British women have always had a particular predisposition to prostitution. Even those who are quite well-off often do it and proudly write books about their exploits in the oldest British profession and publish their “prostitution diaries”, sometimes even under their own names, which quickly become the nation’s bestsellers and are duly screened and brought without delay to the tv and cinema.

There are many things both wonderful and terrifying about Britain but, for millions of British people, capitalism seems to have failed.

It looks like their future will be all about a struggle to survive in a progressively yobbish, lawless society, where a few will have a lot and where most will have very little.

Given that, it is not surprising that some choose oblivion in the snort of British talcum — cocaine — or in the puff of a funny cigarette and others trade their beauty and youth for a couple of banknotes.

Well, do you say to that, Le Carre? How do you like this little expose? Will you incorporate it in your next novel? I recommend that you do. And when you've done with it, you can even mention me in your Acknowledgments -- you know where you usually enumerate all those who gave you various "input" for like the proper Masturbatory English writer that you are you only write about what you know nothing about.



Our Kind of Traitor by Their Kind of Idiot Hack Writer

What Le Carre Has Never Wrote About # 1

Le Carre, which is the stupid pen name of the life-long British spy & agent John Cornwell, made a name for himself by writing British supremacist spy novels, dour, long-winded and laced with schizophrenia, which were however highly reviewed by critics.

In his novels, very conspicuous is the absence of certain pertinent themes. To start with, he never wrote about the North of Ireland's struggle against the British (and especially, the English). Yet it was a much more serious war (and maybe still is) than perhaps any other war that Britain has ever waged -- the war between the Irish freedom fighters and the British secret services, in which the latter were thoroughly defeated, with many of their operatives killed in a number of successful high-profile and daring-do operations. But strangely Le Carre just never based any of his spy novels on that. I wonder why. Too close for comfort? Too hard to lie about? What do you say, Le Carre?

Nor did he write anything about environmental disasters facing Britain.

But perhaps a novel is due for Britain has long been an environmental disaster zone.

To start with, consider the problem with potable water in Britain -- there is not enough good quality water for drinking or other household purposes or even for industrial purposes.

In summer hose-pipe bans are usually in effect in may parts of Britain. Soil waters are seriously depleted and even this year’s humid summer has so far done nothing to restore subsurface water levels. This is bad news for Britain as it means that the human waste matter that its bloated population produces (which is about the only thing that it can produce in abundance) can no longer naturally dissolve and contaminates both surface and sub-surface water bodies. Concentrations of fecal bacteria are especially high in British potable water this summer as well in the soil and even on the hands of Brits or visitors to their unhealthy country.

Extreme over-population in Britain does nothing to improve the situation. Most major rivers in Britain are literally clogged with human waste matter as well as human hair and other by-products of humanity.

Coastal waters around Britain and in the Channel are also polluted -- polluted with a high concentration of poisonous British sewage observed spreading in many areas. In fact, British sewage may have spread as far as way into the Atlantic ocean and way down to the Mediterranean putting the livelihoods of Dutch, Danish, French and even Spanish fishermen under threat.

At least 68 people died this summer from minor scratches and insect bites which, in the polluted environment of Britain, can and do lead quickly to blood poisoning, meningitis and other dangerous conditions.

Moderate and humid almost throughout the year without major temperature fluctuations, the climate on the "British" (actually "Celtic" as in stolen from the Celts) Isles is very good for the reproduction of dangerous bacteria even at the best of times, and so even a minor scratch can become your last if left untreated.

Many children are also at risk as their families cannot afford foreign holidays in the present economic climate at safer locations abroad and are forced to go on “staycations” in Britain instead — with its host of overwhelming ecological, epidemiological and other problems.

No improvement in the overall situation is expected any time soon.

Paradoxically, the depletion of water resources in Britain may be coupled with the danger of extreme flooding expected to occur later in the year which is expected to be very wet.

Out of control

The British government is reluctant to acknowledge that the situation in Britain is out of control because it can do nothing to improve it. Nor does the British Government have any funds left to invest in any serious life-saving or environmental protection effort. Well, maybe, Le Carry could prob them into action with another of his sick novels?

Overall the situation with public and environmental health and safety is dangerously unpredictable in Britain, and this even not taking into account various social ills.

And this is something that British spies, agents, hacks won't be able to do anything about because they are still fighting the wrong kind of wars.



Yeah, how do you like that, you beaut? How about writing a spy novel about the physically decaying and slowly dying (rather like yourself, especially in the head) "British" Isles, Le Carre?